‘The age when we feel at our sexiest is 53’ – Carolyn Hito

As the 53-year-old naturally had a headline that caught my attention this week — “The age at which we feel at our sexiest is revealed as 53.”

I had to pay attention to the story before it was dissected everywhere from the Daily Mail to Women’s Hour. A fifty-year-old friend of mine had emailed the press release, which prefaced it: “Well this has filled me with joy!”

I scanned the story for evidence of its new-found fascination – a little squinting at the small print through the multifocal contact lens I’m currently testing. And there’s no doubt that this 53-year-old has been feeling pretty hot in the bedroom lately. There’s nothing like a 3:00 a.m. flush to get you naked and banging.

Read more: See more of Caroline Hitt’s columns here

But there was nothing stopping the survey, conducted by an over 50s dating site, which reassured the middle-aged demographic that it was potentially the decade at large. There’s no room here for those vibes: “Not tonight darling I’ve got a menopausal migraine” or sorry love, the riot angle isn’t exactly what it was.

Instead, there was a breathless litany of sensual statistics, presented through the prism of attractive celebrities hitting this milestone of apparent erotic appeal. Here’s what he said: “It’s not until our fifties that we really feel sexy, with more than half (53%) of over 50s insisting they feel more frisk now than in their twenties .

More precisely, 53 emerged as the age when Tess Daly, Jennifer Aniston, Hugh Jackman and Gillian Anderson all turned 53 in 2022. Been to In a survey commissioned by Ortime, four in ten (41%) were found to be in their 50s. ) were more comfortable in their own skin and more confident than ever about their appearance.

Nearly a fifth (18%) decided that dating was spicy and more exciting, with dinner at the hottest restaurant in town (48%), naughty weekends (40%) and beach dates (24%) top made. , 16% still prefer to dance the night out, while 12% enjoy exotic cooking classes like Sushi Making.

One in twenty (6%) even said they wouldn’t mind throwing an ax on date nights.”

At this point I was stunned. There was also the point in the email where my friend put in an awesome face emoji. Throwing an ax As he was briefly, WTAF? For people who actively avoid online dating because they fear they will end up with a serial killer, this is a cultural trope. There is actually a blog titled “So, I Dated an Ex-Murderer… or How to Stay Safe on Tinder Dates”.

But setting aside what seemed like a gruesome courtship ritual from Game of Thrones, I continued with the case of Overtime for the 53-year-old sex bomb: “The reasons I’m able to have such good times include knowing Have what they want and don’t be afraid to go for it as well as don’t worry about how they turn out.

“It also helps that while 32% claim that some people get better looking and sexier with age, silver foxes are a particular attraction.”

I stopped here again for a roll-eye. “Silver Fox”. L’Oreal would never have been off the field if it had applied to both sexes. When it comes to fifties grays, men are iconic, women are extinguished. But I stuck to this conclusion: “Plus, a quarter of over 50s also found their relationship and sex life become more exciting after hitting their fifties. It’s no surprise that 31% thought that The idea of ​​sex getting boring and ‘vanilla as you get older’ is a myth – with 29% of Brits over 50 never having a one-night stand, the notion of having a one-night stand is old and wrong. Including to dismiss, everyone gets fatter and wrinkled with age (44%).

There we are. I present my findings without any kind of research. The real reason 53 is the sexiest age is because until then we don’t give flying figs whether people find us sexy or not. Life at this stage of life throws up far more important – and deeply unsexy – challenges than worrying about our sexual posture.

Women spend most of their lives portraying this ridiculous metric as a measure of value. And while society may enforce this with various degrees of misogyny, our fifties are the time when we stop caring about what our score is.

Shedding light on the brilliant 53-year-olds and shutting down the statistics that claim we are all middle-aged sex bombs may feel like a positive thing but the focus is still on appearance and desirability. The complete picture of middle-aged womanhood should highlight the wisdom, resilience, acquired expertise and all-round life-experience that can make a fifty-year-old woman fabulous.

But there is much deeper data showing that the value society lacks applies to those hard-to-live qualities. Just a few weeks ago research came out from the Office for National Statistics showing that the demographic of 50+ women is “too old to hire, but too young to retire” in an unbelievable detail.

Against a backdrop of record job vacancies and a cost of living crisis, 179,000 women over the age of 50 in the UK are claiming job-seekers’ allowance – a 44 per cent increase from two years ago. The number of women aged 50-64 who have left the workforce entirely in the past two years has increased by 7%.

We’re constantly told that employers are looking for tough workers, but they don’t seem to be in the market for middle-aged women. It is believed that women in this age group lack digital skills, while research has also found that they are judged more harshly on their physical appearance in the workplace than men.

I read case studies where women were advised to omit date ranges from their CVs – a move that could remove even some of the most important examples from their professional experience.

A widely qualified 53-year-old – who had applied for 100 roles in the entertainment, leisure and property sectors – was asked by a recruiting consultant for her age. When asked why he needed it, he replied “Because we need to manage the expectations of employers and something we might not want to do…” He retorted before skirting around the topic. This was the moment when he realized that his age was the major obstacle.

Obviously this had a huge impact on their self-confidence, while also having economic implications for women discriminated against in this way, who could face more than a decade before retirement.

This double whammy of sexism and ageism makes the workplace poor as well as the women he ignores. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when emotionally agitated, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things.” “

What a sexy skillet. So let us not forget that a 53-year-old woman can be fabulous in the boardroom as well as in the bedroom.

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