Women, Men Don’t Want to Hear Your Opinion – Says Love Coach

A relationship coach has caused a stir online – by claiming that men don’t want to listen to their partner’s opinion. Ellen Schultz, 48, better known on TikTok as @drellenlovecoach, is a self-described love coach who uses her platform to offer advice on how to be ‘a happy wife with a happy life’ .

Having previously earned a PhD in Applied Theater and worked as a drama therapist, Allen decided to turn her hand to relationship coaching after conducting her own research following a series of failed relationships. She started posting relationship advice online and rapidly switched the role to one side – and just before the lockdown hit in 2020, she decided to become a full-time love coach.

Ellen said: “The point is, the crux of my work can be controversial and provocative. Of course, your husband wants to hear your thoughts and views on the world, we want to be able to have these lengthy philosophical discussions, but because the woman wants to be on her own.” With the male in this defensive competitive dynamic, it can very quickly spiral into a conflict.

“While women are fighting patriarchy on a collective basis, on an individual level women are also fighting alongside their husbands and fathers.”

Ellen from Belfast, Northern Ireland, began to see the dynamics of relationships between men and women after a series of heartbreaks in her twenties and early thirties. As a fan of Sex and the City, she says that she was influenced by the show’s ideas and believed they should be able to go out and find a devoted partner, and together they live happily ever after. can stay.

After becoming a single mom in her twenties and then in her early thirties, she began to wonder what the problem was and began using books, online courses, and webinars to find the missing pieces in her relationships. She discovered her own issues related to her behavior and mindset in relationships—so when she reconnected with a former colleague she’d known for ten years, she realized she was ready for the relationship she was in. always wanted.

Although Ellen married in 2013 after a year-long relationship and year-long engagement, she found that they were getting into fights and arguments after the wedding and she struggled to understand why. Ellen decided to look back into relationship books and courses and even work with relationship trainers — and then she realized it was something she could do herself.

With a background in theatre, she knew she was confident on camera and began sharing relationship content on Facebook as a side hustle in August 2018 – before becoming a full-time love coach in October, 2020. Now, she uses TikTok to make videos, which are focused on. Relationships – With a special focus on how to be ‘a happy wife with a happy life’.

One of her recent videos takes a somewhat controversial approach by claiming that men don’t want to hear their partners’ opinions on world affairs or politics, and that it’s more powerful to prevent women from engaging in debates with their husbands. can make. “There are a few different ways to look at it because it’s actually quite a complex approach — it’s not what you’re saying, it’s how you’re saying it,” Allen said.

“Through social programming, feminism, and their childhoods, many women feel the need to break out of the oppression that has happened – they have been oppressed, abused, abused and patriarchy and Decades and decades of fighting malpractice come from now.

“Little girls are taught that they have to be tough which is true, but by the time we get into our twenties and beyond we have this real strong kind of armor that says ‘don’t mess with me, I’m tough, I’m sassy, ​​I’m fierce.

“Then when we find ourselves in a romantic relationship we are inadvertently insulting and insulting the man because we have become too masculine and he has become a woman – they don’t know what their role in the relationship is.” Yes, men don’t know and women don’t. Women find themselves extremely frustrated – she’s doing everything, planning vacations, scheduling, working full time, taking care of the house And it started in the dating period when she was organizing dates, picking him up and buying gifts.

“They find themselves in a Catch 22 role and it’s hard enough getting themselves back into the female role – we don’t understand why we ended up with this guy who isn’t a hottie and we’re asking why Why is he lying on the couch playing video games all the time. It’s our energies and behaviors that keep this up and pushing him away – a manly man is going to argue back and want to be right.

“We want to be able to explore our vulnerability and show it to our man in a way that inspires his devotion to us, leading him into a masculine leadership role. It’s about masculine and feminine energy.” Comes down to it – if you have two masculine energies in a relationship it can lead to a lot of conflict and competition, we need polarity for chemistry and passion and when it doesn’t it can be a dull, Life can become boring with its roommate vibe and this is when affairs can happen.

“We have the energy of a mom, we’re her boss, her secretary, her CEO and a lot of times we’re filled with so many ideas about what she wears, what she eats and what her friends are doing that we’re just being incredibly Strong. Most men love a woman who can speak for herself and who has a voice, this is something a man is really attracted to, but not when it is directed against him, which would have been Is.

“It’s also a lot to do with self-worth—really opinionated women want to be right and have the last word, but you don’t always have the last word when talking to your husband about something. Often these women have trauma and low self-worth – our nervous system is very active and we do not feel safe within ourselves but trauma treatment and inner hair treatment can help.

“A big caveat to this is that my advice doesn’t apply to women in abusive situations, if any physical abuse occurs, get out and get help right away – there are a lot of gray areas in abusive relationships, professional guidance.” Get more help.”

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